Slowing down with social media
Your One Step this week:
✓ Read this article on why tween brains are simply too immature to handle social media and consider one step you will take to slow down and lean in when it comes to social media and your child.
There seems to be a disconnect. By law, social media platforms require users to be at least 13 years old. CommonSense Media suggests waiting until at least age 15-16 for TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram. Recent Facebook whistleblower efforts have revealed known harms to young people. Yet, we know that many kids/tweens - even our own - use social media regularly. We offer you an invitation to pause and lean in.
Read the article and the ideas below to find tangible ways to guide your child through the insanity of social media.
Why slow down and lean in?
Kids' brains are not yet developed to manage the distraction, temptations, and emotional downsides that come with social media use. While you can teach responsible use of tech, you will not be able to teach the maturity that social media requires.
By and large, social media is entertainment. It is not addressing a developmental need - it is using precious hours of our kids' time and attention.
Algorithms promote filtered or fake images of activities and appearances that are often not realistic or attainable. Vanity, sexualized body images and adult content are ubiquitous - there are minimal parental controls to block inadvertent content. Kid brains are not equipped to navigate this.
Social media displaces other important activities. Specifically, it displaces the hard social "work" of dealing face-to-face with peers.
How can I slow down and lean in?
Here are some ideas if your kids…
...Don't yet have social media
✓ Delay access. There is no hurry. Band with other parents to provide alternatives to entertainment and communication. Give them a taste of social media content via your phone if needed.
✓ Before saying yes, spend 5 minutes scrolling through the unfiltered content and live feeds so you can get a sense of what they will see regularly.
✓ Go slow. Don't go from 0 to 100 overnight. When you are ready to add an app, do it one at a time and assess how it is going. Try our 4 step process when considering a new app.
...Already use social media
✓ Be curious. Ask questions: What are your friends doing online? Have you seen anything interesting or funny lately? Have you seen anything that seemed fake or gross?
✓ Set time limits. Check out previous newsletters to set up Apple Screen Time or to define device-free times and spaces.
✓ On our website, learn how to optimize settings for TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat.
✓ No devices in the bedroom at night. A centrally located charging station is helpful.
