Increasing chores at home
Your One Step this week:
✓ Get your child engaged with chores. Find 1-2 additional household tasks to help your child build vital life skills.
Chores might be the secret sauce to effective parenting. Why? You need stuff done, and you have free labor to do it! But also, chores are ESSENTIAL to your child's development.
Through chores, kids develop independence, learn responsibility and accountability, and become a valued contributor to the family team.
"If kids aren't doing the dishes, it means someone else is doing that for them and so they're absolved of not only the work, but of learning that work has to be done and that each one of us must contribute to the whole," says Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University and author of How to Raise an Adult.
A Harvard longitudinal study even finds people who do more chores and housework in childhood are happier later in life.
Chores, hmm... the secret sauce we just might all need right now.
What can my child do?
There are a lot of lists available to help you identify potential chores. Here are some ideas to get you started:
✓ Toddler (age 2-3): self-help: put toys away, clear place after meal, put clothes in hamper; for family: fill pet food dish, remove clothes from dryer, match socks
✓ Preschool (age 3-5): self-help: tie own shoes, get dressed, make bed with help; for family: sweep, set table, water plants, get mail
✓ Elementary School (age 6-9): self-help: make own school lunch, prep simple snacks/breakfast, brush teeth and take bath/shower; for family: unload dishwasher, wipe counters, help with laundry, walk dog, take out trash
✓ Middle School (age 10-13): self-help: get self up in AM, shower without nagging, transport self locally on foot or bike, pack own bag for travel; for family: cook a simple dinner, wash dishes without assistance, clean toilet/sink/shower, babysit younger siblings
✓ High School (age 14+): self-help: do own laundry, manage money and spending; for family: mow the lawn, grocery shop, prep/cook family meals, help adults with home or auto repairs
Set yourself up for success
Be aware that screen time can unintentionally displace chore opportunities.
Carve out time to train kids how to do each task and then let them practice. It's messy and inefficient at first, but this is an unavoidable part of the learning process.
Break down chores into smaller age-appropriate tasks. For example: clear plate to sink > load dishwasher > hand wash large items > wipe counters. You are teaching them parts that ultimately accomplish the whole job.
Praise your child for effort. Validating kids and teens for the help they provide goes a long way in motivating them to be lifelong contributors. (Don't overdo it.)
“If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.”