Teaching teens the power of reflection and choice
Your One Step this week:
✓ Introduce your teen to the power of reflection and choice by helping them identify which apps or platforms are not serving them well.
“When I got my flip phone, things instantly changed,” a Luddite Club member said. “I started using my brain.” Scott Rossi for The New York Times.
Young people are already opting out. A group of teens known as the "Luddite Club" in New York, have traded in their smartphones for flip phones. Stars including Selena Gomez, Tom Holland, and Billie Eilish have quit social media to improve their mental well being. But you don't have to be a self-declared luddite or a celebrity to take a break. Recently, several local high schoolers told me they were taking Instagram and TikTok off their phones to see how it feels. No adults were pressuring them -- rather they felt the apps were making them feel unhappy, anxious, and burned out and those negatives were outweighing the positives.
As parents we ultimately need to help our kids develop the skills of self reflection and choice to determine what activities are serving them well. If your teen has access to digital media - streaming videos, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, SnapChat, an internet browser, etc...then the skills of reflection and choice will be their lifeline to healthy tech use. We want them to be savvy consumers of the digital world.
Reflection: nourishing vs. draining
Use the table below to start a conversation with your teen. We recommend doing this exercise first for yourself. From there you could share your personal experience and offer it to your teen to try. Pick one app to start with.
→ What is an app that I use often?
→ In general, after using this app or platform, how do I feel?
Choice
If an app falls outside of "nourishing", consider making a change. Encourage your teen to ask themselves the following questions:
1. Should I take a break?
Consider taking a micro retreat from a specific platform - e.g., a two week break from Instagram or YouTube. This break offers an "empirical opportunity" for a teen to reflect and observe themself: Am I less stressed? Sleeping better? Spending more time with friends? Do I want to reintroduce the app and if so, how?
2. What else could I be doing?
If an app is used frequently, suddenly removing it may feel challenging. Plan ahead for what else you could fill your time with so you are not tempted. You might be surprised how much free time you have for new and old hobbies you enjoy!
Your One Step recap for this week:
✓ Introduce your teen to the power of reflection and choice by helping them identify which apps or platforms are not serving them well.